Real men don’t run for subway seats

I see them all the time and boy do they annoy me.
They run under my arms or scamper like bunnies
between my feet. They quickly dash towards a
subway seat before that elderly woman or lady.
They are the most annoying people around.

Yes they are “men” who run for a seat on the subway.

I’m sorry you’ll never find me running for anything,
especially a subway seat. It just makes you look like a
wimp, and not a man. And when you’re tall like me,
it even makes you look worse.

I’ll never forget this guy that used to get on the F-Train
at 15th street in Park Slope. He had to be my size and
used to push his way through everyone to get a seat on
the F-Train. One time he even sat right below where
I was standing and I couldn’t keep it in,
I just had to say “you asshole”.

And of course he just kept reading his New York Times.
No, there was no plastic or steel leg, no, there was
nothing wrong with this guy folks.

Call me old fashioned or maybe just pure
"Brooklyn", but I'll teach my son the same.

Always hold a door for the next person,
even if they don't say "thank you".

Always let a woman in or out before you.

Always give your seat to a pregnant woman.

And most important,
NEVER run for a seat on the train.

So do yourselves a favor guys,
walk like Clint Eastwood onto the train
instead of a little bunny rabbit.

Because real men don’t
run for subway seats
on the F-train and always
let women sit first

Ron Lopez


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