Thursday, June 25, 2009

Old Hockey Players Wanted!

Are you over 45?
Have you had a knee operation or two?
Are you slow and get out of breath easily?
How about when you put on your old hockey jersey,
do you look like Gordie Howe with your grey hair
instead of a young Bobby Orr?
Or maybe just an old guy with no hair at all?

Well, if you do, now is the time to hit the treadmill, ride the bike, and cut out bread from your diet. Because starting in October of 2009 I am looking to have our first of many “Old, Old, Old Timers” games down at the Avenue F Roller Hockey rink in Kensington. That’s actually McDonald Avenue between Avenue F and 18th Avenue.

We’ll have oxygen, a box of defibrillators, and a bag of plaster to make a cast on site if you break a bone or two. And just remember, there’s no injury that "The Hospital for Special Surgery"
can’t fix either.

And hell, if it all goes south, Pitta's is just a mile away up McDonald Avenue. We'll stuff you in your hockey bag and drop you off by his backdoor for "stiffs".

So take out that life insurance policy and get that stress test.
Because you’re going to have more fun than a barrel of monkeys starting in October, and that’s because we are just looking to have fun and nothing else.

No, forget name-calling or feeling humiliated if you make a mistake.
Because in our park the biggest effort you’ll be making is just showing up on a Sunday morning.

So let’s all drink from that fountain of youth, (although it’s just an old discolored park water fountain), and feel proud of our mid-life crisis. We’re playing roller hockey in October and feeling like kids again. And there’s nothing our parents can do to stop us.

For more info please contact:
Ron Lopez


Pete said...

I'm there baby!

Josh said...

I'll try to get a release from the Texas League to play! :-)

Anonymous said...

Wow! This is the announcement that I've been dreading would come one day and now here it is! My worst nightmare come true! You see, I'm a bit older than Ronnie and I've already been through my mid-life crisis...even that seems ages ago! It was that third "old" in old, old, old timers that has me roped in. I'm already into that next stage in life. The one where you start to put on weight, get less active and really don't care anymore if that twenty-something hot babe that works in your office notices that your biceps aren't exactly like popeye the sailor man's guns. I've reached that stage where telling my kids stories about my super jock past is satisfactory enough for me to get a bit excited. My kids are even old enough to just listen whenever I go off about how I used to do this or that in some hockey game 35 years ago or how much I used to bench press and how I roofed one over some goalie's shoulder. You see they are old enough and smart enough to know that if they just shut up and act mildly ineterested in some story they've heard 3 dozen times before, dad will finish the story faster and they can be on their way and they also fullfilled that good deed for the day!
Yes Ronnie, thank you soooo much! So now I have to get off my fat out of shape butt, go downstairs and search for enough equipment that has not deteriorated too badly, find one of my kids hockey bags since I don't think my old duffle bag has enjoyed the same longevity as me, try to find/buy a stick with something close to a straight blade (That's the kind of stick I used so well when I was a super jock), probably have to buy roller skates and re-learn how to skate and then haul it all down to Avenue F and worse...have to put it all on! Let's it shinguards first and then pants or pants first and then shinguards? Is it possible for skates to tie themselves? Yes Ronnie, thank you soooo much! Then again, mayne if I go through the trouble of doing what it takes to get down there...yes, just maybe, if I can circumnavigate the old will be like playing "kick the can" in the old Twilight Zone episode and at least for a little while, we'll fell like kids again! Yeah baby! It's worth the effort. Don't want to end up like that old guy in the episode that didn't try it! As I recall, he was a pretty unhappy fellow!
Charlie Gili