Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Recession is Over!

Let me tell you why the recession is over.

Number 1.
My brother-in-law Martin finally landed a job after being out of work for well over a year. I mean here’s a kid who came to New York from Texas a while back. A real wiz with numbers and finance who worked for a while doing the “Wall Street” thing.

Oh, you name them, Lehman Brothers, UBS, HSBC, etc., etc. The kid was really doing well until the ceiling collapsed in April of 2008.

And finally, after well over a year, Martin has landed a job.
So that’s one reason why the recession is over.

Congratulations Martin!

Number 2.
Arturo, one of my tenants who does construction, has been working almost every day this month after it being real slow for a while.

“It’s good Mister Ronnie”
“It’s very busy, and more work is good”

Yes, Arturo and his father have been working, so it looks like the rent will be landing sometime around June first in the palm of my cold sweaty hand.

Muy bien Arturo, muy bien!

Number 3.
Francine, my top floor tenant also found a job in advertising after being out of work for a good nine months or so. So once again I say the recession is over in my little world. And thank God my tenants
are working.

Number 4.
Whenever we go upstate, the parking lot of the Lowes in Oneonta New York is packed. There’s no one ever in the store, but the parking lot is packed. Who knows?

Number 5.
I have been able to pay my mortgage since 1990, and have never missed one payment. Even though I always pay it after the 16th, and then have to contend with a phone call from Chase from some Spanish speaking person, who then has to speak English because I don’t speak Spanish. That always fucks them up.

Number 6.
We still go out to eat, because saving money by cooking at home is very depressing. In fact anything you do to save money is depressing.

A brown bag lunch?
Counting change?
A Prius?

Number 7.
The recession is over because I will NEVER pay off my charge cards. Do you want to know how many times I paid them off and then just ran them up again? How about at least 12-15 times? That method never works, no, I’d rather carry a big balance and not use them.
I know it’s warped, but it works for me.

Number 8.
Because the price of gas is going up again, and the big oil companies will be using all those extra billions to help pay for health care.
Ah, you know I’m just bull shitting you, right?

Number 9.
I still see everyone going to work in the morning.
And the F-train is still packed.

Number 10.
My kids think a recession is some form of “recess” in school.
And that makes me laugh, and whenever you can laugh,
nothing matters how bad it is.

Ron Lopez

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1 comment:

Sudheer said...

Good post, Ron. You thought up something bright ! Thanks.