You know whenever I hear some "news" that the economy is doing better, I always look at myself as a direct link. Yesterday the stock market had a rally because of some "good news" from Lowes. The nations second biggest home improvement store after "Pergament".
Pergament? Ah, you know I'm only bullshitting you right?
No, actually Home Depot.
And that's because last month I dropped about four grand at Lowes on Third Avenue in Brooklyn. Yeah, thats right, during the darkest days of our "recession" I dropped some big bucks to keep the economy going. Renovated a kitchen, an apartment, and also changed the front door of my wife's house because the old one was rotting away.
Like a ship in a storm with giant waves smashing over the bow, there I was lowering the sails with the "Visa" logo on them. Fuck you recession, I'm Ron Lopez and I never "cut back".
And besides, the cabinets in the kitchen were falling apart and who wants to be called a "slum lord"?