Thursday, March 25, 2010

Park Slope Pretenders

Liberals amuse me sometimes, they really do. And especially when they “DON’T” practice what they preach. And you know what I
mean too, this whole “we love everyone” and “diversity is great
isn’t it" stuff?

Yeah, preach, preach, preach, and then live in a world where everyone is just like you. Oh, and make sure your Fresh Direct truck makes that delivery while its diesel engine spews black smoke down Prospect Park West. Because the trees in Prospect Park are loving that soot along with the people who live on the ground floor. And make sure to put another "I love the environment" sticker on your Subaru, because your tailpipe smoke's making that one unreadable.

So here's a little story that somehow amuses me,
and it's about "Liberal Failure" Kensington Style.

A couple of years ago this very “liberal” family moved to Kensington from Park Slope to experience the “wonderful” diversity of our neighborhood. You know, Muslims walking down Church Avenue with their Burka’s on, Orthodox Jews on East 3rd Street, Mexican day laborers hanging out on McDonald Avenue, and even some middle age Jewish drug dealers who I went to school with. Oh, and then us, your typical Spanish, Polish, Mexican, Irish, and Wasp mutts who I guess look “white” to someone from Park Slope.

Well, they moved into a great big house on our block and probably paid half as much for twice as much space. And of course a “Park Slope” liberal is going to love Kensington because it represents everything they “believe” in.

Oh right, believing in something and actually living “it”
are two very different things you know, very different indeed.

Oh me you ask, am I liberal? Well, I voted for Obama and also Ronald Regan back in 1980. So I really can’t tell you, but then again I guess I “walk the walk” every day here in Kensington, so does that make me liberal or just tolerant.

So let’s get back to our friends here why don’t we.

Every day when this woman would see my wife she would only complain about Kensington and how “strange” the people were.

“You know you’re the only “normal” family on this block”
she would tell my wife.

Translation: Normal means White

Did this woman not know that my wife’s nieces and nephews are African American. And one time my nephew Clay was thrown out of a store on 7th Avenue in Park Slope because the security guard thought he went to John Jay. And while he was being led out of the store, a bunch of “Park Slope” kids told him to “go home to Bed Stuy” because he didn’t belong there.

Yeah, I’m sure living in Park Slope helped them understand “diversity”. Especially when everyone is the “same” if you catch
my drift.

I mean this Park Slope family was totally freaked out by Kensington;
they absolutely hated it, and could not wait to move back to Park Slope to be with their "own kind".

Was it the “Rev”?
Was it Mohammad next door?
Was it the Orthodox Jews around the corner?
Was it “white trash” me with my Plymouth Cuda?
Was it Bob Brennan sitting on his front porch?
Was it the Mexicans looking for work by Denny’s?
Was it all the people who actually go to Denny’s?
Was it my East Fourth Reunion last year?



Well folks, they did go back to Park Slope.
Yes, they are now back with their own.


Oh, I know everyone is not the same; I mean I have some great liberals that live in my house right now. They moved from Park Slope and love the “diversity” of Kensington. They love the “Rev”, Mohammad, and even Bob Brennan.

But I just have to laugh when some people call themselves
“Liberals” And then totally fall apart when they actually have to
“walk the walk” in a place like Kensington.

And no, we are not “Normal” if you know what I mean.

Oh, and don’t hand me any kind of bullshit that “I wished” I lived
in Park Slope, because my wife can swap her Fort Greene brownstone
for a Park Slope brownstone any day of the week.

And besides,
I was born there,
and escaped a
very long time ago.

Ron Lopez

No comments: