Well, I think it’s about time I just cash out my 401K and pay those penalties. Forget real estate, forget classic cars, and forget those IRA’s I opened up at the Greater New York Savings Bank back in the 80’s.
No, this one is good folks, and the investment will make you rich.
Goggle stock? EBay stock?, No, those babies are already ripe and ready to fall from the tree.
No, I’m talking about a “Nail Salon” on Church Avenue folks, and now is the time.
You see, just when I was getting depressed about another nail salon opening up on Church Avenue between East 4th and East 5th rather than a bookstore or coffee shop, It just hit me. Yeah, like a Pete Liria slap shot square in my goalie mask on East 4th, Pow!
1. A multicultural market 2. No deliveries from milk trucks. 3. No food that expires. 4. Nothing to go bad during a blackout 5. No one using a laptop all day and stealing my wireless. 6. No overhead, except the rent and a few boxes of rubber gloves. 7. More customers than you could ever imagine. Well, except me, because my feet would scare anyone away. 8. Getting a "buzz" from the laquer paint all day.
Yes, a nail salon, yes a nail salon.
Wow, what was I thinking all these years putting my money in a stupid 401K, when I could have been running one of the most profitable types of businesses around? More bang for your buck than selling drugs or illegal fireworks.
Yes, a nail salon, what the hell was I thinking. You know what they say, “if you can’t beat them, join them”.
And the funny thing is, it all made sense after I read an article in the Times about the "gentrification" of Bedford Stuyvesant this morning.
They spoke about an avenue full of 99-cent stores and nail salons, and about how the new residents were so unhappy with what the local strip had to offer.
“A commercial strip always changes after the residential area” was part of the conversation I read about.
Well, if that’s true, then Church Avenue still has a way to go before the next "Conneticut Muffin" opens up and ruins everything for me.
So in the meantime maybe I’ll ask my friend Kevin Ryan (the owner of Denny’s) if he wants to rent me a small spot by the jukebox to keep my rubber gloves and nail polish.
And I promise I’ll do a good job, and you can just leave your tips on the bar.