Nail Salon Dreams on Church Avenue

Well, I think it’s about time I just cash out my 401K and pay those penalties. Forget real estate, forget classic cars, and forget those IRA’s I opened up at the Greater New York Savings Bank back in the 80’s.

No, this one is good folks, and the
investment will make you rich.

Goggle stock? EBay stock?,
No, those babies are already ripe
and ready to fall from the tree.

No, I’m talking about a “Nail Salon” on
Church Avenue folks, and now is the time.

You see, just when I was getting depressed about another
nail salon opening up on Church Avenue between East 4th
and East 5th rather than a bookstore or coffee shop,
It just hit me. Yeah, like a Pete Liria slap shot square in
my goalie mask on East 4th, Pow!

1. A multicultural market
2. No deliveries from milk trucks.
3. No food that expires.
4. Nothing to go bad during a blackout
5. No one using a laptop all day and
stealing my wireless.
6. No overhead, except the rent and
a few boxes of rubber gloves.
7. More customers than you
could ever imagine.
Well, except me, because my feet
would scare anyone away.
8. Getting a "buzz" from the
laquer paint all day.

Yes, a nail salon, yes a nail salon.

Wow, what was I thinking all these years putting my
money in a stupid 401K, when I could have been running
one of the most profitable types of businesses around?
More bang for your buck than selling drugs or illegal fireworks.

Yes, a nail salon, what the hell was I thinking.
You know what they say, “if you can’t beat them, join them”.

And the funny thing is, it all made sense after I read an article in the
Times about the "gentrification" of Bedford Stuyvesant this morning.

They spoke about an avenue full of 99-cent stores and
nail salons, and about how the new residents were so
unhappy with what the local strip had to offer.

“A commercial strip always changes after the residential area”
was part of the conversation I read about.

Well, if that’s true, then Church Avenue still has a way to go
before the next "Conneticut Muffin" opens up and ruins
everything for me.

So in the meantime maybe I’ll ask my friend Kevin Ryan
(the owner of Denny’s) if he wants to rent me a small spot by
the jukebox to keep my rubber gloves and nail polish.

And I promise I’ll do a good job, and
you can just leave your tips on the bar.

Ron Lopez


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