Thursday, July 17, 2008

Top Ten Reasons why Kensington                              is better than Park Slope

10 Instead of the Pavilion, we have the Kensington Post office,
and the shows are free every day.

9 If you loose your job as a television comedy writer, you can
start your own construction business by simply walking to
McDonald Avenue at eight in the morning.

8 You’ll always be able to walk off your meal from the nearest
nice restaurant, because it’s not near at all.

7 When you shop lift at Golden Farms, you can immediately gain
celebrity status by having your Polaroid taped to the cash register.

6 Our calves are smaller because we don’t have to walk
up and down hills all day.

5 Dressing up as an Amish Farmer and re-selling vegetables
bought at Golden Farms is always a “hoot” at the green
market every Saturday morning in Park Slope.

4 We know that “ugly” train yard on Atlantic Avenue is actually ugly,
and are not fooled by the “Develop don’t destroy Brooklyn” people.

3 Cousin Brucie and Albert Shanker can kick any of your
celebrities asses.

2 We also use our Yoga mats to lie on when we steal the lithium
batteries out of your hybrid cars.

1 Electro shock therapy is alive and well in Kensington and involves
licking a live slot car track at the Buzz-a-rama for only
twelve dollars an hour.

Ron Lopez
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Body of a social worker, head of a lion...