10 Instead of the Pavilion, we have the Kensington Post office,
and the shows are free every day.
9 If you loose your job as a television comedy writer, you can
start your own construction business by simply walking to
McDonald Avenue at eight in the morning.
8 You’ll always be able to walk off your meal from the nearest
nice restaurant, because it’s not near at all.
7 When you shop lift at Golden Farms, you can immediately gain
celebrity status by having your Polaroid taped to the cash register.
6 Our calves are smaller because we don’t have to walk
up and down hills all day.
5 Dressing up as an Amish Farmer and re-selling vegetables
bought at Golden Farms is always a “hoot” at the green
market every Saturday morning in Park Slope.
4 We know that “ugly” train yard on Atlantic Avenue is actually ugly,
and are not fooled by the “Develop don’t destroy Brooklyn” people.
3 Cousin Brucie and Albert Shanker can kick any of your
celebrities asses.
2 We also use our Yoga mats to lie on when we steal the lithium
batteries out of your hybrid cars.
1 Electro shock therapy is alive and well in Kensington and involves
licking a live slot car track at the Buzz-a-rama for only
twelve dollars an hour.
Ron Lopez
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Body of a social worker, head of a lion...
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